Snapshots
by SuperGroverAway
Summary: A collection of short slices of life centered around everyone's favorite twins as they go from day to day in the oddest place on earth.
1. Gotcha

Hey, so this is more or less going to be where I post all the various little things that aren't long enough to be separate stories in their own right, but I'd still like to share with the fan community for the heck of it. Hope you enjoy these odds and ends! - **SGA**

* * *

The boy was intently leafing through the old journal yet again. He had been so absorbed in its mysteries and enigmatic notes for long that he didn't realize he was long overdue for an interruption, which is exactly what barged into the attic a few seconds later.

"Dipper, watch out!" His twin charged into their shared bedroom at top speed with a sharp warning. "I'm not wearing any pants!"

Dipper spent the next few moments in the clutches of a total panic. He let out a hoarse yelp, then scuttled back to the corner of his bed as he threw Journal Number Three up over his face. "Mabel, c'mon! Seriously, how did you even….lose….your…."

Realization dawned. He lowered the book with a mighty groan. Mabel meanwhile was a veritable fountain of giggles as she triumphantly bounced up and down. True to her word, she wasn't wearing any pants at all. She was however appropriately garbed in her usual skirt and sweater combination.

"Got yooouuuuu!" She sang happily before breaking out into a small victory dance. As soon as the celebration was over, she whipped out a feather-topped glitter pen and a brightly bedazzled notepad.

"Oh, no." Dipper protested. "If you're gonna keep doing this, can you at least not keep score?"

"Nope!" She was all too eager to jot down her latest win before proudly showing off the current stats. "We're now at three to zip, bro-bro….."


	2. Get It?

"Shoob-ba-da-boop-ba-boo….replacin' a window….gonna get that glass all up on that pane….ba-ba-da-doo…" Soo improvised a tune as he pulled up to the Shack. No sooner had he stepped out of his trusty old pickup when a familiar voice greeted him.

"Hey Soos!" The singsong chirp rang out from high above. He looked up, and immediately spotted the familiar brother sister duo perched up in the tall branches of a nearby tree.

"Whoa! Hambone, what are you doing up there?"

Mabel tapped her chin in playful mock-thought. "Well….by the looks of it, I guess we're making sure that this is a **_PINE_** tree!"

The bubbly tween immediately exploded with laughter. "Get it? Get it?"

She eagerly pointed back and forth between her and her brother. The silly joke immediately had her chubby friend down before trembling with mirth. Soos slapped his knee as he trembled from head to toe. "Hahaha! I get it! It's because your last name and the type of tree are similar! Hahaha! Man oh man, that's comedy gold right there. Straight up…."

He trailed off almost as soon as he began to notice all the unsettling red flags. Both the siblings were definitely looking a little banged up. And while Mabel was smiling like mad over her terrible joke, her brother cut quite a different sight. The boy hung limply over a large bough, groaning with discomfort. A moan and a rustle several feet down then alerted Soos to the fact that the twins weren't alone. A lumberjack hat tumbled down to the ground, signalling that Wendy was hidden somewhere amongst the branches.

However, most telling of all was the fact that several yards away the crashed remains of what used to be one of the golf carts.

"...Uh...so did you dudes mean to get all the way up there?" Soos's tone was now thick with worry.

"Soos, please help." Dipper shamelessly begged. "Everything went wrong…"


	3. Extras

By the time it occurred to Dipper that maybe walking around the house with his nose buried in a book wasn't the best idea, it was too late. He had already tripped over the small pig napping in the middle of the den. Waddles popped up with a start, grunted confusedly, and without a hint of ill-will the docile little animal plopped himself right back on the floor.

"Sorry, buddy." The boy gave him an apologetic pat on the head, tucked Journal Number 3 under his arm and then continued off toward the kitchen. His stomach rumbled in anticipation of a mid-afternoon snack.

"Okay, so what do we have here..." The boy pursed his lips while he browsed the fridge's offerings. Suddenly he could feel hot breath on the back of his shin. Dipper turned around and met a beady gaze.

"So you're awake now, huh?" He remarked distractedly to the hopeful swine. "C'mon, you know the rules. You get dinner same time as always in a couple hours."

Gently he pushed the nosy little pig out of his way. He then fished out a handful of carrot sticks and plodded back out of the kitchen, or at least attempted to. Dipper took two steps before he tripped and tumbled hard onto the floor with an audible smack.

"Oh, c'mon!" He craned his neck around and saw that he had tripped over Waddles. "How did you get-"

Dipper heard a hungry oink from nearby. Either he was hearing things, or Waddles had somehow mastered the art of throwing his voice. The tween nearly gave himself whiplash as he twisted his gaze and laid eyes on another fat little pig happily gobbling up the scattered carrot sticks. He nearly blew a mental fuse on the spot. There was no denying the fact that there were definitely two completely identical animals in the room with him right now.

As if things couldn't be confounding enough, he watched a third trundle in. At first, he just remained where he still lay on the floor, swamped in confusion.

"How did you…." It was then that he noticed something. All three pigs were a near dead match for his twin's beloved pet with one major exception. They had curiously faded pink hides, as if they had stepped out from an old colored photograph. This realization promptly vanquished his bewilderment as everything made complete sense.

"Mabel?" His annoyed yell rang through the Shack.

"Yeah?" She answered back with a forcefully casual tone of voice. Dipper could always tell when she was trying to play innocent. Without further ado, he hauled himself to his feet and marched straight upstairs to the attic bedroom.

"You haven't been messing around with the copier in Grunkle Stan's office, have you?" He asked loudly.

"...Noooo." She answered back only after a pregnant telltale pause.

Mabel..." Dipper groaned as he finally reached the top floor. He pushed open the door, and was confronted with the sight of his sister happily sitting smack in the center of a herd at least a dozen chubby pot-bellied pigs, all totally indistinguishable from another. The boy folded his arms let out a mighty huff of exasperation. Caught red-handed, his sister grinned sheepishly as she hugged the original Waddles close.

"Okay…," She conceded. "Maybe a little bit..."


	4. Reverse

It had only been raining for about fifteen minutes, and very lightly too. But ever since it had started, Stan had glanced out the window no less than three times. By the looks of the darkening clouds overhead, it wasn't going to be very long until the weather grew fierce.

He wasn't the only one getting a little antsy as the minutes ticked on by. His cashier kept looking up from her magazine to steal quick glances at the clock. The twins still hadn't returned from their earlier foray out into the woods. At least it was something of a comfort to see her boss show a little bit of heart for once. He was getting so worked up that he was letting his guard down, making for quite the enjoyable spectacle.

"C'mon, where are you?" He grumbled under his breath, doing his very best to sound convincingly annoyed above all else. "Yeesh. It's gonna start pouring buckets any second. Then they're gonna track mud everywhere in here, and it's just gonna be a whole thing…."

"I'll go look out for them." Wendy finally volunteered. The old man just nodded and shuffled off to his office. It was better than sticking around and watching that smirk spread across her face.

The lanky girl "borrowed" an official souvenir Mystery Shack poncho and trotted outside. She positioned herself near the edge of the woods and kept her eyes peeled for a pine tree cap bobbing off in the distance, or a telltale flash of a brightly-colored homemade sweater. Meanwhile, the skies above continued to grow thicker with every passing moment. It was only midday day, yet it looked like night had come early to the town.

Right when she had begun to think about running in to go grab a flashlight, she picked up the distinct rumble of footsteps. Her immediate relief quickly turned to confusion; that was may more racket than two preteens could make. It honestly sounded like a small stampade, which as a Gravity Falls native she had never heard before. The unfamiliar pounding quickly grew closer, and before she knew it a miniature herd sprang from out of the thick forest, coming to a halt only a few yards away from her.

Thankfully for the teenager, the Pines twins had been doing a spectacular job of getting her well-acquainted with all the oddity that apparently had been dwelling in the shadows of her hometown her entire life. Otherwise she might have panicked at the sight of the strange new arrivals. Instead she only gawked curiously.

"..._Whoa_."

There were five of them total, each and every one a walking, breathing mishmash. From the shoulders down they looked like any average human being. But In place of their necks, each one sprouted the front half of a small horse complete with an extra set of hooved feet. They snorted and agitatedly kicked the air while waiting for their passengers to disembark. A pair of slightly wet twins clambered down off the equine shoulders of two of the living absurdities.

"Wendy!" Mabel flashed brace-filled smile. "Hey!"

"Uh...hey." The unsettled teen murmured back.

"Good to see you! Give us just a sec, okay?" The girl turned to their mounts. "Thanks a million for the quick ride home! And as promised…."

Dipper stayed back as his sister handled their end of the bargain. She reached into her sweater pocket and fished out two thick handfuls of sugar cubes, which their new friends eagerly slurped up with relish. The girl squealed with laughter as their lips tickled her open palms. Once the treats were gone, one of the creatures whinnied loudly and signaled it was high time to take their leave. Teen and preteens watched as they whirled about and raced away.

"Reverse centaurs." Dipper explained simply to their older friend.

"Yeah, I was actually able to figure that out." Wendy found herself feeling unexpectedly proud about this. "Huh. Well looks like you guys took care of my weirdness quota for the week again."

"Yup." The boy conceded bluntly, He didn't need to say another word. All in all, it was just another day in the life for the three of them.

"Thanks for all your help! Bye, friends! Good-byeeeee! Bye!" Mabel waved furiously, biding an enthusiastic adieu to the strange beasts. Just her luck, as soon as the last one had disappeared from sight, something occurred to her. She snapped her fingers.. "Aw darn it! I forgot to ask them!"

"Ask them what?" Wendy pried curiously.

" I wonder where they buy their pants?" The tween innocently wondered out loud.

"I'm not sure," Dipper weighed in. "But all I can say is I'm so, **_so_** glad that they apparently found a place…."


	5. Drive Me Batty

They had just left Sir Frosty's Ice-Creamalot with double-scoops of their favorite flavors in hand. But right before they reached Soo's truck, the gentle giant nearly spooked his young friends clean out of their skins when he suddenly let out a frightened yell that echoed all the way down the length of the town's main drag. Without delay he hurled himself down on the sidewalk and covered his head like an artillery bombardment was incoming.

"Soos!" Mabel shook him with one hand as she balanced her triple scoop of chocolate peanut butter swirl with the other. "What happened?"

"You okay?" Dipper checked him over. Thankfully he seemed to be unharmed as he got up and flashed them both a sheepish smile.

"Yeah, I'm good. Sorry dudes, I totally thought I saw a bat fly by. A bunch of them live here around Main Street, and they come out a lot in the summer, all flapping around and junk." He explained himself sheepishly. "Didn't want one getting in my hair or anything nuts like that, y'know?"

"Okay...but buts don't actually get caught in people's hair." The tween explained.

"Really?" He heaved loudly in reply.

"Yeah, that's just an old wives tale." Dipper was more than happy to clarify. "You don't have anything to worry about."

"Yeah! They only get in there when you let them in!" Mabel cheerfully chimed in. Her brother stopped and shot her a very puzzled look.

"...Wait…_what_?"

"Yeah, bats only get in your hair when you let them! Just like Rebecca!" she chirped. "See?"

"Okay, just who's RebeccAAAAAUUUGH!" His sister parted her brown looks and revealed a tiny brown face that gazed right back at him. Dipper nearly leapt back five feet with a massive start. "MABEL!"

"What?" She asked innocently before snuggly tucking away her friend. "It's only until that bruise on her wing heals up…."


	6. What Are You, Chicken?

"...C'mon, c'mon." Dipper scoured the yellowed pages of Journal Number Three's section on local flora. Finally he was able to identify the misleadingly-innocent looking little white plant that was behind their latest predicament. "Found it!"

"What's it called?" Mabel chirped.

"Poultry Lily." As he read out loud, he gathered up the remains of the wildflower bouquet that his sister had proudly brought in only ten minutes before. "It says here, 'Usually completely harmless, except for a small segment of the population. Some people can suffer extreme adverse side effects from immediate contact with its pollen. Anyone displaying symptoms of this allergy can be cured easily if a quarter cup of their blood is drained and mixed with….' eeesh! Okay, gross."

"We have to do _what_?" His sister disgustedly exclaimed.

"Hold on, let me see if…." Dipper hopefully shined a black light over the page. Much to his relief, he found a hidden note scribbled on the side. "'The plant's adverse effects can also be cured by consuming a three-egg scramble, slightly running, with a little black pepper.' Huh. Why didn't he just write that one down first? That's so much easier than-_WHOA_!"

He had accidentally gotten too close to Wendy, and unfortunately the teen wasn't acting like her usual self. As he gathered up the last of the poultry-lily from up off the floor, she aggressively leaned over as far as her skinny body could stretch and tried to peck him.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to-" He had to dodge her bobbing head several times before he backed out of range. "Okay, okay, sorry!"

The teen glared distrustfully at him while flapping her arms and squawking at the top of her lungs. But once she felt like she had made her point, she settled back down in the large makeshift nest that she had constructed entirely out of T-shirts and overpriced knick knacks.

"Dipper?" Mabel checked worriedly from out of sight. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Well, not really. I mean, Wendy still thinks she's a….look, I have to go to the kitchen and cook up the cure, okay?" Dipper called back to this twin. "I only need like, ten minutes! I'll get you out of there soon!"

"Okay!" A muffled squeak answered. Despite the fact that she was buried underneath her redheaded friend, Mabel sounded like she was doing quite well given the situation. She even threw in a chipper reassurance. "Don't worry, bro-bro! Take your time if you have to. It's actually pretty cozy under here!"

Dipper frankly didn't feel all that comforted. He took off like a shot. "Just ten minutes! I promise!"

With the possible predator now gone, Wendy could actually relax. As the paranormal pollen continued to wreak havoc on her mind, the broody teen began clucking softly to herself. Every now and then she would shift in order to make sure her "chick" was sufficiently warmed. As she nested, a yellow-sweater sleeved arm snaked out and gave her a gentle pat.

"You know what, Wendy?" Mabel couldn't help but sweetly marvel. "I think you're gonna make a great mom someday…"


	7. Light the Way

"...Man, I never thought a tree-golem could have so much talk about." Dipper remarked.

The day's minor foray into the paranormal had taken a little more time than the twins had planned. As a result, they now had to troop through an almost completely night-darkened forest. Only the barest sliver of light peaked out over the horizon as a final gasp from the setting sun.

"But he was nice enough to give us directions back home when he was done!" Mabel thoughtfully reminded.

"Yeah, and really good directions, too. Like, impossibly good." Her brother marveled while they passed yet another familiar landmark. "How does a guy who's permanently rooted into the ground know how to get to the Mystery Shack?"

She shrugged. "Dunno. But he was nice enough to let me take a piece of his bark!"

Dipper grimaced at the grotesque souvenir that she now waved about in his face. "Isn't that basically just part of his skin?"

"Probably!" The unsettling observation had no effect on her mood. "Whatever it is, it's definitely going right in the scrapbook when we-"

"Whoa, hold on!" He motioned for them to stop. "...Do you smell that?"

"What?"

"Smells like something's…." He sniffed the air. "Almost like something's burning."

At the moment, Mabel practically resembled a giant firefly thanks to the electric light that she had cleverly stitched into bulb design on her sweater. Until then she had been lighting their way home, but as an acrid odor began to fill the air, it looked like their return trip had hit a snap.

"Whoops!" Hurriedly she switched off her light before it overheated her specially-crafted garment. The twins were immediately bathed in the dark, left with nothing more than the weak twinkle of the stars above.

"Uh oh." Dipper gazed up at the heavens. "Okay, give me a minute. I'm pretty sure I can figure this out….first, I need to find the North Star, then..."

"It's okay, we're good!" Her smile didn't waver for even a second as she interrupted his efforts to triangulate their location. "Lucky for you, at least Mabel made sure that we came prepared."

"Huh? What do you-"

"Boop!"

He was caught completely off guard when she reached forward and pressed the left breast of his vest. Suddenly his garment lit up with a bulb-shaped electric glow. Mabel grinned at her handiwork. "See? Pretty smart, huh?"

Dipper,s surprise last for only a few moment before exasperation quickly set in. He shot her an annoyed glare. "...Okay, when did you sew this in?"

"Right after I added this one!" She tittered unrepentantly. "And Mabel said let there be LIGHT!"

The girl deftly pressed his cap, and the pine tree logo lit up. Unable to restrain herself, she snickered mischievously, "Hey, Dipper!"

"Oh, no." He immediately guessed what was incoming. "No, don't-"

"Want to keep going? Or are you feeling a little too light-headed right now?" Mabel was instantly overcome by a fierce giggle-fit.

Dipper let his obvious displeasure be known to all within hearing distance with a despairing groan. Once finished, he flicked his hand and gestured that it was high time for them to hit the trail again. As the illuminated boy lead the way, he lamented, "Is it even worth it to ask you not to go through my things?"

"Nuh-uh!" She cheerily answered with an affectionate smack on his shoulder. He accepted his fate with a combination of shrug and sigh.

"At least you're honest with me…"


	8. Attacked

Whoops! Almost forgot that this was a thing! - **SGA**

* * *

"...Ohhhh... oh, _whoa_." The boy gasped let out a loud in amazement. His pen now sounded like a tiny machine-gun as he clicked it excitedly. "So the town park is lying on top of an ancient...interesting, but if they knew, why would..."

There were really very few people who could get as intensely immersed in a book as Dipper Pines could. That held especially true especially true for whenever he cracked open the mysterious journal. Nearly his entire face now lay buried in the yellowed pages of strange notes and detailed hand-drawn illustrations that now soaked up every ounce of his hyper-concentrated attention.

"Temple ruins….maybe...buried under….baseball diamond…." He muttered as he jotted down his thoughts into a battered notebook.

The boy was so focused on his reading that he failed to notice the curious lump that suddenly started to literally worm its way into the attic room. It looked like a normal sleeping bag, except that unlike other sleeping bags, this one not only moved on its own but also giggled like an over excited twelve-year-old girl. Slowly it wriggled across the floor, taking full and skillful advantage of the fact that the unsuspecting boy was hopelessly distracted.

It wasn't until it had loomed up directly next to the bed and case a lump shadow did Dipper notice that something was seriously amiss. "Wha-"

"_HUMAN WORM_!" His attacker joyously announced, then promptly erupted into chirping laughter as it started to furiously flop on top of its badly startled target.

"Hey, what are-_augh_! Quit it!" Dipper flailed about in a panicked, and ultimately futile defense against the silly assault. With a hoarse, cracking cry he accidentally rolled right off the bed and into a heap.

"Mmmm! Yummy!" The self-proclaimed "worm" eagerly swooped in. The front of the sleeping bag opened wide, and suddenly everything became dark as Dipper found himself half-swallowed by its mouth.

"No! Cut it out! Stop! Stoppit!" He thrashed and whined in protest, all to no avail. Inside the bag, he could feel a pair of hands grab him by the arms and start to drag him in even deeper, despite his best efforts to squirm loose. "Mabel, no!"

"Om nom nom nom nom!" It replied in a bubbly rumble that was very clearly a Cookie Monster impression."Me love eat nerdy brothers! Om nom nom!"

Dipper's waist, kicking legs, and finally even his feet pulled out of sight, temporarily leaving nothing left but one very overcrowded bag. However, barely three seconds passed before he was suddenly shoved back out, with an appropriate sound effect accompanying his rough exit.

"_Ptooey_! Yuck, tastes too much like a butt!" Upon reaching the punch line, Mabel absolutely lost it. She immediately started laughing so hard that she could barely unzip and crawl out of her improvised costume. As she hugged her legs, rolled from side to side and giggled like a little tween maniac, her shaken twin needed to take a few moments to get his bearings together before he could sit up and respond appropriately.

"Can you please tell me why that just had to happen?" Dipper hurled his arms in the air as he let rip with a frustrated yell.

It took a few moments until she could calm down enough to answer. Still trembling with unbridled glee, his twin sat up, affectionately booped her brother in the nose and replied innocently, "Because it was getting way too quiet in here!"

Immediately she erupted again into a one-person symphony of mirth. While her squeaky laughter continued to fill the room, her exasperated brother flopped backwards onto the floor.

"That actually makes so much sense, it's honestly kind of upsetting me right now..."


	9. The Visitor

Whoa, I completely forgot I had a place to upload my short present-day GF odds and ends. Seems just as good a place as any to upload this admittedly weird little piece. What is it? Your guess is honestly as good as mine.

New chapter of PL should be up early next week! - _**SGA**_

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Wendy loved whenever a mighty evening rainstorm swept in at the end of a summer day. It always gave her an easy excuse to stay overnight at the Shack. The story she gave Stan and her Dad was always the same basic spiel about how she wanted to avoid a soggy bike ride home and catching a possible cold. Manly Dan would give her the green light because few things in his mind were worse than a Corduroy unable to work. With Stan however it was more a cursory mere routine he had already gotten well before the end of the twins' first summer at the Shack last year. Then as soon as she had the necessary approval it was always nothing but nonstop shenanigans there with two of her best friends until they all finally crashed for the night.

However, this particular evening was shaping up to be anything but a nice break from the rough-and-tumble chaos of the Corduroy home. Sure, it had been a blast with the Pines siblings before they finally turned in for the night. But now it was going on eleven o'clock at night, and Wendy felt like she was baking alive. The attic bedroom felt unusually stuffy to the point of oppression. Dressed in a borrowed oversized T-shirt-turned-nightgown from the gift shop, she rolled about restlessly on top of a sleeping bag.

After wiping her damp brow for the twentieth time, she got up and looked around. She wasn't the only one who was suffering from the stifling atmosphere. Both of the uncomfortably half-asleep twins had kicked their sheets aside. Mabel was even keeping a full arm's length from her slumbering pig just so Waddles' body heat wouldn't add on to her discomfort. And poor Dipper had sweat so much already that the little dork looked like he had been dunked in a warm pool.

She looked around and quickly figured out the problem. The triangular attic window was tightly shut and keeping out all that precious cool storm air. Wendy got up and sauntered over to it without a moment's hesitation.

"Oh man. No wonder…" Her mumbling attracted the attention of the dozy siblings. The twins yawned and rubbed droopy eyes. Once they registered what she was doing, the pair immediately snapped wide awake.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Mabel got up so fast that half her sweaty brown locks went cascading over her face.

"Wendy, wait!" Dipper yelped. In his rush to get out of his bed, the ever-awkward little teen tangled himself in his sheets and hit the floor with a thud.

"Dudes, what gives?" She laughed as she undid the lock. "I'm just-"

Suddenly Mabel was halfway up on her back and desperately grasping on tight. "Stop! Wendy, wait!"

"Hey! Chill, okay?" Wendy easily pried the little brunette off, face forward and pushed the window open wide. A heavenly refreshing breeze washed over her, and she gasped with delight. "I'm just-"

Suddenly they had company. It was like nothing that she had seen before, and considering the summer that she'd been having so far that was saying quite a lot. The basketball-sized orb of pulsing, leathery skin hovered right in from out of the night without so much as single sound. The redheaded teen let out a startled yell and took a hard tumble backwards.

The eerie visitor continued silently pulsing away as it floated ] into the center of the room. It hovered for a few moments, and then its skin suddenly split open with a wet tear. Slowly the rip grew and grew, gradually revealing a single blood-red eyeball hiding beneath. It's freshly torn skin flaps blinked a few times, and the thing turned a full three hundred and sixty degrees as it carefully scanned all around with its large rectangular pupil. Finally a voice emanated from somewhere on its mouthless form.

"...Crackers?"

The twins let out a joint moan. A very bemused Wendy quickly guessed that this was something of a routine of sorts.

"No." Dipper replied grumpily.

"Crackers?" The thing hopefully repeated itself.

"No. We still don't have any crackers." He repeated.

"Crackers?"

"No."

"Crackers?"

"Still no crackers. None. Okay?"

"No crackers?" It murmured confusedly.

"No, no crackers." The boy reiterated with a grouchy yawn. Despite getting the same answer several times in a row, the thing hovered hopefully all around the room.

"Crackers?" Repeated the disembodied voice. "Crackers?"

It stopped in front of Wendy. The bewildered teen showed off her empty hands. "Uh, no."

"Crackers?"

"Sorry?" She said with a shrug. Mabel meanwhile had retrieved a broom that she now used to gently prod the anomaly.

"C'mon. C'mon, back out you go." She coaxed. "Let's go."

Despite her encouragement, the thing kept floating all around and searching every nook and cranny of the room. It checked up in the rafters, beneath the beds, and wherever it could take a glance with its enormous blinking eye. Dipper fetched a mop, and together the exasperated siblings tried their best to corral it. It was harder than herding a cat, but finally they managed to steer it back towards the window.

"No crackers…." With a deeply disappointed sigh it floated back out into the darkness of the night and vanished as abruptly as it arrived.

"Bye bye!" Mabel sang before closing the window back up tight. "Remember, no crackers here!"

"You okay?" Dipper checked up on their lanky friend. Wendy nodded as she nursed a sore backside.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just...like, kinda weirded out right now." She confessed.

"Sorry. It's been like this all week. Every night around eleven." Dipper rubbed sleep-heavy eyes as he explained. "We're still trying to figure this one out."

"Um... has Ford-" She tried to ask.

"We're all trying to figure this one out." He clarified for her.

"At least Shelia's pretty polite about it." Mabel joined them in the center of the room. She added as a point of pride, "I named it."

Silence settled on the attic as Wendy just wordlessly sat there with emerald eyes peering out into nothing. The twins shared worried glances.

"Wendy?" Dipper said softly.

"Hello?" Mabel waved a hand in front of the lanky teen's emerald eyes. "Wendy?"

"Huh?" She snapped back to the present. "Oh, sorry. I was...I was just planning."

"Planning?" Dipper repeated.

"Yeah. First thing tomorrow morning, I'm bugging the crap out of Stan to buy you two a couple fans…."


	10. A Figure of Speech

_Here's just some quick sibling shenanigans. Enjoy! - **SGA**_

* * *

"Dipper? Dipper! Dipperrrrrr!" The boy could hear his sister's singsong calls ringing all the way down from the attic bedroom. He hopped off their Grunkle Stan's old golden-yellow recliner and began ascending the creaky stars.

"Coming!" Dipper called back. "What is it?"

"I need help!"

"Help with what?"

"I just found a tear in my llama hair sweater! A big one! Could you help me do a sweater-scan?" She asked. "It looks like I'm overdue!"

By this point Dipper had almost made it all the way to their shared bedroom, but as soon as she dropped this particular request he ground to a dead stop. There were few ordeals he dreaded more than a full-scale sweater scan. If he said yes, then that would mean at least two hours spent standing around with his noodle arms outstretched while his twin would fit her sweaters over him, meticulously check them all for any rips or holes, and then make any necessary repairs before repeating the process, one by one by one by one. Just the very thought of being her mannequin yet again made his limbs ache a little.

"Ohhhh no."

"Please?" She shamelessly pled. "Pleeeeease For me?"

"Do I have to?" He wearily demanded. "Can't you just check them over yourself?"

"Nooo, they have to be fitted over something! Otherwise I won't be able to see everything as well!"

"Can't you use anything in the exhibits?" He tried to bargain. The boy was pretty sure that the stuffed "Franken-Badger" would probably be just right size for the job.

"No, it has to be you! C'monnnnn, you're my body double, bro-bro! You're just the guy I need for the job!"

Dipper just groaned, making no secret whatsoever how much he loathed this particular activity. Mabel however had apparently anticipated reluctance from him. A squeaky giggle rang out from upstairs.

"Okay, okay, Mabel gets what's going on here. So would you say that you'd only do it for me….when pigs fly?"

An awkward silence followed. Her puzzled brother replied. "I...I guess, yeah. But why-"

A sudden crash followed by a distressed yelp nearly made him nearly jump out of his skin. The boy instinctively bolted up to the attic without a second thought. Dipper charged through the door and was immediately sent sprawling when he tripped over a toppled stepladder His timing proved to be simultaneously great and absolutely terrible all at once, because just a split second later he was cushioning his sister's landing. Mabel plummeted into him from high above, squeezing the air from his skinny body in a massive rush.

"Dipper!" She yelped. Hastily she leapt off her flattened twin and began the arduous process of gently peeling him up off the floor. "I'm sorry! Sorrysorry! Are you okay?"

"I'll be alright….I hope." He groaned as she helped him back onto his feet. Ever the dutiful brother, he then checked. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She said sheepishly. "Thanks."

"No problem...I think." He winced. "So...what just happened here?"

The boy took stock of the situation. High above their heads, Waddles appeared to be his usual docile and happy self in spite of the fact that he was dangling aloft with the help of some heavy rope, with one end tied around a ceiling beam and the other wrapped securely his chubby stomach. One of the two cardboard wings that had been taped to his back tumbled off and fell down at the twins' feet.

Mabel flashed her brother an apologetic smile. "This idea sounded way, way, waaaaaaay better in my head…"


	11. Utmost Importance

Just a little something that's been sitting around in a folder for a while. Hope you enjoy! - _**SGA**_

* * *

"Gotta get back...gotta let him know...g-gotta let him know..." The girl gasped to herself between ragged breaths. Maximum exertion was currently the name of the game. Sweat dripped down her forehead and turned chocolate brown locks into a damp mess beneath her helmet. Furiously she zipped down the dirt road. He feet were working the pedals so hard that her body was a blur from the knees down.

In her single-minded haste she failed to notice the small hole up ahead in the road until it was too late. Suddenly she was soaring through the air as the impact sent her tumbled off of her bicycle. Mabel landed hard upon the ground with a shrill yelp and was sent rolling several feet over stone and dirt.

By the time she tumbled to a stop, her legs were crisscrossed with scratches and cuts and an enormous bruise was now spreading to life on her left arm. But she hurriedly bounced back up onto her feet and scrambled right back into the seat. In no time the determined neonate was on her way again, zipping along as fast as the limits of her endurance allowed her.

A few minutes later she finally arrived at the Mystery Shack. Mabel didn't even pause to prop her bicycle up on its kickstand, remove her helmet, or even brake to a full stop. The young teen practically hurtled herself off the bike, leaving it to fall over in a heap with a loud metallic crash.

"Dipper? Dipper!" She hurtled into the tumbledown tourist trap like a miniature juggernaut. "Dipper! Dipperrrrrr! Dipper? DIPPER!"

A clatter of footsteps echoed loudly from the stairway as her brother bounded down from the second floor. Mabel dashed off, and the two met up in the living room. Dipper took one look at his battered sister and was instantly afire with alarm.

"WHOA! What the...!" He bolted over to her side. "Mabel, what happened? I thought you were just buying yarn!"

"I-I was!" The exhausted girl clutched her cramping stomach and wheezed furiously. "But...but then I...I-I..."

Mabel was so hopelessly out of breath from her epic flight back from town that she could barely speak. She could even barely stand for that matter, and now wobbled shakily on sore legs, While she gulped in heavy lungfuls of air, Dipper furiously rubbed her back to try to speed her recovery along.

His stomach twisted into a cannon ball-sized knot. They had already encountered everything ranging from malicious triangle-demons to the return of long-lost and previously unknown relatives (and that had all been in just their first Oregonian summer last year). In other words, it took a lot more to rile either of the two of them up than it used too. Whatever was going on here, it sounded like it was something big. There was no doubt in his mind.

"What?" he pried worriedly. "What is it? What-"

"I was coming back home when I thought of something!" She finally blurted out. "Dipper, next time we enter a contest or play a game on the same team together, and win, then we can call ourselves _TWINNERS_!"

Dipper's worry was drowned by the flood of incomprehension that instantly washed over him. For a moment all he could do was stare blankly at his sister and the rapidly growing smile that was now taking over her face.

"...Wait...say that again?"

Mabel giddily bounced up and down on her heels as she explained. "Twinners! Get it? Twins, who are _winners_! Clever, huh?"

"...This is what you rushed back from town for?" Dipper was spectacularly underwhelmed.

"Uh-huh!" She nodded her still-helmeted head vigorously.

When she noted the way her brother was gawking at her, she gave herself her first thorough lookover since she returned. As soon as she noticed her impressive array of minor hurts, she burst out giggling sheepishly. When she took note of all of her scratches, her rosy cheeks went a little brighter.

"Whoopsies!" She giggled sheepishly. "Whoa, check me out. Guess I probably could have been a teensy bit more patient, huh?"

"Yeah, that would have helped. Dipper put it gently as he scratched the back of his neck. "Um...let's get you cleaned up, okay?"

A minute later Mabel was comfortably seated at the table and thirstily gulping down a large glass of water. Her dutiful twin dug out the First-Aid kit from beneath the sink, opened it up, and splashed some hydrogen peroxide on a paper towel. As he started to gently dab a cut on her leg, Dipper glanced up, met her confused gaze and noticed that apparently it was his turn to receive a strange stare.

"What?"

"What's your dealio, bro-bro?" She cocked her head and asked curiously.

"What do you mean?"

"Just look at you! You're acting like this is a whole bunch of nothing. Sure, I didn't win the lottery or find a new freaky monster or something like that, yeah. But still, TWINNERS! We got an awesome brand new title we can use whenever we kick someone's butt, from now until forever! You have have to admit, that's at least a little amazing, right?"

"Huh? Oh. Yeah, it's definitely something, but-"

"Twins who win! Twinners! _Twinners_!" Mabel repeated. She simply couldn't wrap her head around the fact that he wasn't anywhere close to as ecstatic as she was.

"It's just that…." Dipper paused. "Sorry, but haven't we done this before? I'm getting a major sense of deja-vu here."

"Whatcha mean?"

"Didn't you already get excited about this last week? Like, the same exact thing?" Ask the befuddled teen boy.

Mabel though for a few moments. A fresh smile sprouted from ear to ear when she remembered. She burst out giggling and did a full face-palm. "Oh! Pffft, I can't believe I forgot! Well, looks like my Silliness Score gets another point, huh? Hahaha! Anywho, no."

"No?" he repeated incredulously.

"Nope! That was totally different." she clarified for him.

"You sure?" Dipper asked. "I'm ninety-nine percent sure it was the same thing."

"No, last week was the _restaurant_ idea. Remember? I figured out that if we ever opened a restaurant together for some reason, then we could call our dinner specials the twin-ner specials..."


	12. The Professional Expert

The nighttime peace was suddenly interrupted up in the Shack attic by sudden rapping at the attic window. Both the thirteen-year-old twins were immediately stirred awake by the racket.

"Whazzat?" Mabel moaned from beneath a tangle of blankets. She shifted her still-slumbering pig and wiped some chocolate locks from her eyes. "D-Dipper? What's goin' on?"

"Dunno." Her brother lurched out of bed and shambled across the floor like a zombie. "Sounds like a bird, or-"

He looked out the window at the pair of winged, goatish beasts flapping about expectantly outside. In immediate retrospect, Dipper had no idea why he didn't assume the obvious that something weird was afoot. He leapt back almost halfway across the room with a hoarse cry.

"Hey! Kids, keep it down!" They heard their great-uncle Stan drowsily call from the floor beneath them. Their other grunkle was far too deep below in his basement lab to hear anything (where there was an equal chance he was asleep or working late into the night on some kind of research).

Meanwhile, the nocturnal visitors continued to flap in place with their leathery, bat-like wings.

"Excuse me? Hello?" One tapped on the glass again with a half-hooved, half-clawed hand.

The other dug out a glitter-splattered flyer from her stomach pouch and held it up for both the siblings to see. "We saw this hanging up in the woods. Is this the right address? Are either of you Mabel?"

"What the...?" Dipper read the lovingly hand-crafted paper advertisement, then looked to his sister. "Did you-"

"Oh!" Mabel was instantly wide-awake and smiling excitedly from ear to ear. "Yup, Mabel's this girl! Juuusssst a minute!"

"Oh, no." Dipper groaned. He cast a pleading look to his sister. "Wait, so this is for real? No, you're not seriously going to do this-"

"These are my first clients, silly! I can't say no, can I?" She chirped as she bounced around the moonlit bedroom. After setting up several folding chairs, opened the window up for the visiting monsters. "So you read about my rates, right?"

One of the creatures checked inside another body-pocket (a throat-pouch, this time).

"Huh….hold on," The flying goat-monster mumbled confusedly. "I thought I….could have sworn…."

The abomination's significant other rolled all three of her eyes. With a huff of exasperation she produced a bag of assorted candy, and as she handed off the "payment" to Mabel she did so with the snarky comment. "And it looks like it's up to me to remember for the both of us. Big surprise there."

"Oh, c'mon!" Her partner snapped. "Please don't do this to me now, Gloria."

"You know, we wouldn't have to keep talking about this all the time if you could just keep track of at least some things in our life, like the dark spells that sustain our life force, the best hunting grounds…" She shot him a fierce glare. "My mother's birthday…"

"Hey I sent her that gift card the next day, didn't I?"

"To a shoe store! Why would you actually think that she would honestly want human shoes when we..."

As their bickering rapidly escalated, it was like music to Mabel's ears.

"Oooh, looks like a challenge here!" She squeaked excitedly. In no time she had slipped on a pair of lensless glasses and hung up a small sequin-bordered, hand drawn certificate that read: "Dr. Mabel Pines; Relationship Expert Extraordinaire."

"So….they're seriously going to talk marital troubles with you right here? Right now?"

"They came here for my advice, then that's what they're going to get!" His sister replied.

"Great." Dipper buried his face in his hands and sighed sarcastically. "Just greeeeeat."

"Hey, it's way past time that I let the greater forest community have an opportunity to take advantage of my expertise. At the right price, of course" She explained very matter of factly before directing her clients to the seats. "All right, over here!" Make yourself nice and comfy and tell Mabel when the trouble started!"

With a resigned sighed, Dipper gathered up his pillow and sheets and headed off towards the door.

"Okay, you know what?" He grumbled before he left, "First thing tomorrow morning we're going to talk about making set hours…"


End file.
